Question: A Woman Normally has 2 Mouths! What’s the difference between the 2?
The 1st answered: 1 can talk But The other can′t.
2nd answered: 1 is Vertical and The other is Horizontal.
3rd answered: 1 is Hairy, The other isn′t.
The Last 1 answered: 1 is for My Use & The Other is for My Boss!
Boss: “Yes, You’re Hired!”
Superman was flying around one night just having a good time when he noticed Wonder Woman on the ground, spread out, naked. Superman says “Wow God! Oh Oh Yeah. Well I guess because I am the fastest man in the world I can go and do my business with her.” So he goes down and boom boom boom, then he flies off.
Wonder woman says “Invisible Man what was that?”
Invisible Man says “I don’t know but my ass is burning off.”
What do toys and tits have in common?
They’re both originally made for kids, but dads end up playing with them.
A man walks into a pharmacy and goes to the counter. Standing behind the counter is a young woman.
“May I speak to the pharmacist?” he asks.
“Well,” she replies, “I am the pharmacist.”
He looks very uncomfortable, and asks for a *male* pharmacist, as he has a “male problem.”
She informs him that only she and her sister work at this particular establishment.
He blushes and says, “Well, I really do need help, so I guess I’ll ask you… I have a problem. I have a constant erection, and nothing I do seems to get rid of it. It’s been like this for three months now. Can you give me anything for it?”
The woman looks thoughtful, and says, “Hold on, I’ll go in back and ask my sister.”
After a couple of minutes she returns and says, “We’ll give you half of the business and it’s profits, but that’s all we can give you for it…”
A sixth grade science teacher Mr. Sampson asks his class: “Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to10 times its usual size when stimulated?”
Nobody raises a hand, so he calls on the first student to look his way.
“Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?”
Mary stands up, blushing furiously. “Sir, how dare you ask such a question?” she says. “I’m going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal, who will have you fired!”
Mr. Sampson is shocked by Mary’s reaction, but undaunted. He asks the class the question again, and this time Sam raises his hand. “Yes, Sam?” says Mr. Sampson.
“Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye.” “Very good, Sam. Thank you.”
Mr. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, “Mary, I have 3 things to tell you:
First, it’s clear that you have NOT done your homework.
Second, you have a DIRTY mind.
And third, I fear one day you are going to be sadly disappointed.”
There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties.
The Priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says, “Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties. It’s not proper to walk around without any panties on.”
The girl goes home and gives the money to her mother and asks her mother to buy panties for her. When the mother asks where the girl got the money, the girl explained what happened.
Upon hearing how the girl got the money, the mother rushes to her room, whips off her panties, and puts on one of her shortest dresses and runs out to the church.
As soon as the mother sees the priest coming, she begins to walk up the stairs. The priest then notices the lady and calls her down.
The woman not wanting to show that she is expecting anything, walks back to the priest very calmly.
The priest hands the lady $1 and says… “Lady, take this money and for God’s sake, go buy yourself a razor!”
A man walks into a pharmacy and goes to the counter. Standing behind the counter is a young woman.
“May I speak to the pharmacist?” he asks.
“Well,” she replies, “I am the pharmacist.”
He looks very uncomfortable, and asks for a *male* pharmacist, as he has a “male problem.”
She informs him that only she and her sister work at this particular establishment.
He blushes and says, “Well, I really do need help, so I guess I’ll ask you… I have a problem. I have a constant erection, and nothing I do seems to get rid of it. It’s been like this for three months now. Can you give me anything for it?”
The woman looks thoughtful, and says, “Hold on, I’ll go in back and ask my sister.”
After a couple of minutes she returns and says, “We’ll give you half of the business and it’s profits, but that’s all we can give you for it…”
I know I haven’t known you very long and I shouldn’t be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly.
I haven’t had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft.
If you would do this for me no one would ever know.
I am sure you can satisfy my needs and I’d be very grateful if you would.
I am very desperate and I need your help.
You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all the juices until it’s very dry.
I am not going to beat around the bush any longer so..
Do you have a piece of gum?
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